How Our Sacrifice Inspired Generosity and Commitment

Written by JoHannah Reardon at Gifted for Leadership

When my husband and I came to a new church plant immediately after seminary, we knew there were going to be some financial challenges for the small congregation. They had only 10 members and about 40 attending, including children. But they were a devoted, expansive-minded people, which gave us hope for the future of the church. And they offered us a livable wage, which was extremely important for a family of five. Because of their commitment, the church thrived in those early years. People gave sacrificially and the church grew.

The problem came several years in. We had grown by that point to around 200 people and had rented a larger, more expensive facility to hold everyone. And in the earliest days of the church, the pastor’s office was in our home, but it soon became clear that this was less than ideal since the church needed a secretary and extra space for Sunday school. So when office space opened up across the street from the community center where we met, it seemed the perfect solution.

But as any church plant grows, the congregation’s commitment to that church diminishes. The 200 did not feel as invested and determined to see the church grow as the original 40 who liberally gave of their time and money and who had a clear vision for the church. So after several months of increased expenses, our budget began to run in the red. 

As a result, my husband gave a sermon on giving, but the amount that people gave was not enough to solve our financial woes. After praying about it, my husband told everyone at the next business meeting that the church would give up the office space and secretary, and that he’d move the office back into our home. Most people in the business meeting began to nod in agreement until one of the church founders stood to his feet and gave an impassioned speech about how it grieved him to see the church go backward rather than forward. He challenged everyone there to dig deep and see how they might be able to give sacrificially so that the church could keep the office. The atmosphere in the room changed immediately, and they unanimously agreed to find a way to keep the office.

We learned at least three things about ministry and money through that experience.

When church leaders sacrifice, it’s a powerful example.

The fact that my husband offered to give up something for the sake of the church was powerful. His attitude of humility and willingness to sacrifice for the church moved the congregation in ways that cajoling and making everyone feel guilty never would have. It’s important for the pastor to also cast vision, but if that vision seems to profit him more than the felt needs of the congregation, it is often perceived as selfish. On the other hand, if the leaders are visibly willing to give up something important to them, the people in the church take note.

We found this same principle to be true in other situations. When our church again hit financial difficulty in the downturn of 2008, my husband asked the church to freeze his salary since we had enough to live on. This stance on his salary challenged the people of the church once again to give sacrificially. Most people in the congregation realized they had more than enough to live on and began to increase their giving. The desire to give faithfully overcame their fear of the nation’s economic woes.

Lay leadership is vital in raising ministry funds.

Because my husband took the humble position of sacrifice, the way was open for lay leaders to champion his cause. His willingness to give up something valuable to him opened the door for others to speak up, and in so doing challenged people to give in a way that he could not urge them to. Unless those who are not paid staff wholeheartedly embrace the ministry that needs funds, it’s simply not going to happen. But if at least a few lay leaders who are respected in the church take up the cause as their own, the rest of the congregation takes note.

We found this to be true when we finally moved out of the community center and raised funds to build a church home. As the senior pastor, my husband led the charge, but he also stepped back and gave lay leaders a platform to make their case for why we needed to build. Their impassioned pleas were more powerful than the paid staff’s voices ever could have been.

Hearts must be touched for people to give sacrificially.

All of this led to the realization that generally people do not give unless their hearts are moved. When we hit that first crisis over the church office, we discovered that people in our church were extremely generous, but they had been giving to other things that tugged at their heartstrings more. When the church founder similarly tugged at their hearts, they responded immediately. They had to be convinced that what they were giving to was worthwhile. At the surface, a church office did not stir any passion in them for giving. But when it was put into context of where the church needed to go in order to have an impact in the community and the world, people responded.

Let me add a final word of caution. None of these things can be manufactured. The pastor’s willingness to sacrifice, the lay leaders’ passion for the cause, and hearts that are moved to give must be sincere. Anything artificial will be recognized as such and ultimately hurt the church much more than advance its cause. Remember that in raising funds, we must have a sincere desire to advance Christ and his kingdom more than to obtain an end result.

JoHannah Reardon has had experience as a women’s ministry director, a pastor’s wife, and a longtime church leader. She blogs at johannahreardon.com and is the author of seven fictional books and two devotional guides.

It’s Complicated

Written by Angie Ward at Gifted for Leadership

Money complicates ministry.

Sure, there is the difficulty of talking about money in your organization – sermons and stewardship campaigns. Salaries and budget shortfalls. But that’s really the easy stuff.

What about a leader’s personal relationship with money?

I am a ministry leader and a pastor’s wife. While I earn money through my writing, teaching and leadership coaching, the bulk of our family’s income comes from my husband’s salary, paid for by our church. It has always been this way for us, nearly 17 years in full-time employment by one church or another.

I am accustomed to making our living through the church. Yet I continue to be troubled by the potential traps and trappings of this arrangement.

Sometimes I am aware that the people in our church watch what we do with our money. Most of the time, however, I don’t feel that they intentionally scrutinize. This is probably partly because we don’t live extravagantly, and partly because a certain standard of living has always been assumed in the communities where we have lived and ministered. If we don’t push the boundaries on either end of this standard, no one bats an eye.

But I continue to be aware that our family’s choices about money speak loudly to our congregation. They communicate our values, our priorities, our theology. Our lifestyle is a teaching tool. The way we use money can negate what my husband preaches on Sunday, or it can foster conversations and challenges that no stewardship sermon can match.

What does my relationship with money, and the possessions and experiences it buys, communicate to the people with whom I work and worship?

What do I communicate if my house is one of the nicest among our membership? What if it is one of the smallest? Would Jesus drive a BMW? Should I? Is a new Camry OK? What about a gas-guzzling SUV? What do I say when someone jokes about my 2002 Civic?

How do we live in our culture but not of it?

I am called to live among the people in my community. Yet I am also called to be set apart as a follower of Christ, and to not conform to the patterns of this world. Do we go along with the culture of our community and sign our kids up for all manner of lessons and camps, or do we forgo some of those experiences in order to give more to the poor and needy in our community and around the world? Should we prioritize involvement in activities with those in our community, or the needs of those we have never met? What do those decisions communicate to our friends, neighbors, and church family?

And those are just questions of lifestyle. What about how money colors my leadership?

Am I afraid to speak hard truth because the givers might leave? I’ve seen it happen too many times: church leadership becomes hesitant to go this way or that, speak this thing or that, because of how the “heavy hitters” might respond. Are my husband and I tempted to acquiesce if we ever sense this pressure?

Or do I lead differently because in the back of my mind, I know this organization pays our salary and therefore our family’s bills? On the flip side, do I experience or express entitlement regarding salary and benefits, believing that the church “owes” us something? What if money weren’t an issue and we were financially independent from the church? How might we lead or speak differently?

I’ll admit that I have many more questions than answers. My husband and I continue to pray for wisdom and direction in these areas, learning as we grow. We have chosen a smaller, simpler house and fewer possessions. Sometimes we decline opportunities for ourselves and for our children in order to give that money to other needs. We have learned to redefine needs and to distinguish between true needs and personal wants. And I dream that our family will one day be financially independent of our church, or in a position that we can “reverse tithe,” giving back to the churches that have given so much to us over the years.

Those are decisions and dreams for our family; they are descriptive, not prescriptive. I know that my answers will be different from those of anyone else. But I believe that each ministry leader, couple, and family must at least wrestle with these questions. Money complicates ministry. How does your own relationship with money hinder or further your ministry?

Angie Ward is a leadership writer, teacher, coach, and consultant with 25 years of ministry experience. She blogs at Leadership Connections and teaches at a number of Christian colleges and seminaries. Angie and her husband, Dave, a pastor, live outside Indianapolis with their two delightful sons and one adorable beagle.

Banishing Spiritual Loneliness

Written by Keri Wyatt Kent at Gifted for Leadership

I want more of God. Although I write and speak on spiritual formation, work with other Christians, have friends who encourage my faith, am married to a Christian man with whom I’ve raised Christian children, I still sometimes feel lonely. Not just emotionally lonely, but spiritually lonely—disconnected from God and my faith.

Leaders walk a lonely road. The leader of any enterprise, from a corporation to a small group, must ultimately make decisions that may be unpopular. Even if they consider others’ opinions and feelings, leaders, by definition, must take responsibility and make decisions. That can feel lonely.

A position of spiritual leadership can add another layer of isolation. When you are caring for and mentoring others, guiding them spiritually, questions often nag at the back of your mind: Who’s mentoring me? Where do I take my questions and doubts? If I’m supposed to be a role model/leader/encourager, who does that for me? And there’s nothing like doubt to make you feel alone. 

Banishing spiritual loneliness begins with being honest about the fact that you feel lonely to begin with. Acknowledge your feelings, then move forward by engaging in spiritual practices that will help you and those you lead.

Here are three strategies to combat spiritual loneliness as a leader.

Slow Down

Do you ever feel as if you’re moving so fast through life that you don’t really see the people around you? Or you do see them, but you feel annoyed at them far too often? Do you feel that you don’t have time to really connect? Ironically, busyness (even with an overabundance of connections) can be isolating.

Slow down. For a day, or even a morning, try this: Do one thing at a time. Use “time chunking”: allocate a chunk of time to one task, then move on to the next “chunk.” Multi-tasking actually decreases efficiency.

Take time to look into the eyes of people you’re meeting with, noticing their non-verbal communication. Listen without composing your next thought. Pause between tasks. Delegate some tasks, maybe. Or just let some things (which you might possibly be micromanaging unnecessarily) just go undone. (Could that be the reason you’re so busy? Hmm.)

Our hurry can even taint our time with God—prayer becomes another item on a to-do list. We get more out of checking it off the list than we do actually being with God. Take time to slow down with God, even if you don’t have a lot of time. Meditate on God’s promises of love and acceptance. For example, start with 1 John 3. Focus on your identity in him; you are a deeply loved child of God.

Spend Time in Solitude

It may seem counterintuitive, but the antidote for loneliness can sometimes be found in solitude—especially when we define solitude as not simply time alone, but time alone with God. God can fill our spiritual tank. But just as you can’t fill a car while driving it down the road, spiritual filling requires us to slow down and connect with the source.

Be sure to understand the distinction between time alone being with God and time spent alone doing tasks for God. There’s a big difference.

Leaders are people who get things done. We’re task-oriented. While that’s helpful, it can fuel an underlying belief that God’s approval is related to our accomplishments, even contingent upon them. That’s another way of saying we believe God’s love is conditional.

When we simply take time to be alone, and to be with God, without tasks or even an agenda (such as study, memorization, lesson prep), we affirm our faith in God’s unconditional love. Does he really love me when I’m not doing something for him?The only way to find out, and thereby truly experience that deep, unconditional love, is to stop doing for a while. Just be with God and know him (See Psalm 46).

Seek Community

This may seem like the opposite of the previous strategy. But if you look, for example, at the life of Jesus, you’ll see that he engaged in both solitude and community. We need time alone with God, but we also need others to minister to us, to encourage us. God designed us to live in community with others. He can speak to us through others and in the quiet of our hearts.

If you find this challenging, you may need to ask yourself, Am I keeping people at a distance? Am I willing to risk revealing my need for support or encouragement? Am I valuing tasks over people?

Seek out other leaders, or friends who have some emotional distance from your leadership position. (In other words, people who are in another organization or are not your direct reports.) Look for friends who will support you but also be willing to tell you the truth when it’s not pretty.

Be willing to seek spiritual friendship in which you can both be honest, where you can take off the leadership hat and just be yourself. Jesus did ministry in community, and we’d do well to follow his example.

Other people who lead in other environments often can provide the understanding and support you need. But you have to be brave enough to ask.

Loneliness is inevitable at times. Rather than avoid it by getting busy, let that quiet ache in your heart push you toward God.Use these three practices—slowing down, solitude, and community—to experience his presence and to create some space for God in your life.

Keri Wyatt Kent teaches and writes about spiritual formation, leadership, and discipleship. Connect with her at KeriWyattKent.com.

Finding Support in the Lonely Days of Leadership

Written by Jenni Catron at Gifted for Leadership

If I could name one word to describe the most surprising characteristic of life as a leader, it would be the word lonely. It’s not a word they prepare you for, by the way. Yes, I had heard people say that leadership was lonely, but I didn’t really believe them. The leaders who said they were lonely always seemed to be surrounded by plenty of people. They were needed, respected, and frequently sought out for wisdom and counsel.

Then one day I experienced it. With more leadership responsibility than I’d ever had before, I couldn’t shake the aching loneliness I felt. I too was surrounded by people, lots of them, but most of them needed me for something I could do for them. My circle of people who just wanted to be with me without needing me was shrinking fast. I didn’t want anyone and I wanted everyone at the same time. 

Loneliness is a dangerous byproduct of leadership. One that can start to demoralize and diminish your effectiveness. The higher up you go in the leadership ranks of your organization, the more isolated you can become. It doesn’t have to be this way, but loneliness and isolation are the natural destinations for leaders who haven’t purposefully charted another course.

Part of the maturity of leadership is recognizing the potential for loneliness and isolation, and building in protective measures to combat them. In our book, Just Lead!, my co-author Sherry Surratt suggests that we need to have two kinds of people in our lives: encouragers and challengers. “The encouragers always have kind, affirming words for you that refresh you and keep you going. The challengers always make you think further, work harder, and push you to grow into all that you can be.”

In addition to your encouragers and challengers, you need safe friends and family who don’t need you because you’re a leader. I’ve even had to learn to create new boundaries and expectations with my family. As a natural born leader, I have always been the one to take charge and make plans. A few years ago when my leadership capacity increased significantly, I realized I was avoiding hanging out with my family because I constantly felt the pressure to lead. Rather than relaxed and comfortable with the people who know me best, I was anxious and feeling tremendous responsibility. In an effort to run from those feelings, I drifted further into isolation, perpetuating my feelings of loneliness.

One of the greatest gifts we can give those we lead is a healthy version of ourselves. As Sherry wrote, “We were created to live in community. Hebrews 10:25 reminds us of this: ‘Don’t give up the habit of meeting together; instead let us encourage one another.’ God created us with the need to lean into him and to others. Ask God to send those encouragers into your life and for the courage to be vulnerable and admit when your encouragement tank is running low. God also reminds us in Proverbs 27:17, ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’ Ask God today to send the challengers you need and the wisdom to seek their input.”

Where is leadership keeping you isolated? When do you feel lonely? Your health and strength as a leader hinge on your awareness of how this byproduct of your leadership can inhibit you from leading well. Pray for God to show you the encouragers and challengers you need to invite into your life.

Jenni Catron is executive director of Cross Point, a mega-church in Tennessee. She is the founder of Cultivate Her, an organization dedicated to connecting, engaging, and inspiring young women leaders.

Women and Competition - The ugly truth about female relationships

Written by Sharon Hodde Miller at Gifted for Leadership

Today I read an article that made me very sad. It was written by a woman whom I respect, though we disagree on some things. This particular article (about which I will not disclose any more details than what I have here) arrived at some conclusions that I do not share, but what disappointed me was the author’s tone. It was not loving toward other women. Going beyond disagreement, she was sarcastic and condescending. Rather than respectfully disagreeing, this usually mature woman in Christ chose to belittle women who take a different position than hers.

That behavior is wrong. It is not Christlike, and as women of the church we need to be better than that.

Whenever women back-bite in the name of theological or ideological difference, Satan wins a small victory. While our own sense of self-righteousness often justifies this behavior in our minds, mud-slinging and ridicule are always unfitting for the church. Throughout history, tremendous destruction has resulted from rifts between women, so we need to take this problem very seriously.

It wasn’t until I recently researched the biblical examples of female friendship that I realized just how serious this issue is. Last fall I spoke at the Fall Kickoff Event for the women’s ministry at my church, and I talked about the dynamics of female friendship. In particular, I examined the two types of female relationships that we see in the Bible: a competitive model of friendship and a Christ-centered model of friendship. For the Christ-centered model I looked at Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1), Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1), and the women at the cross and resurrection (Matthew 27-28). Each of these female friendships is so encouraging to me, and a powerful example of the legacy we women step into. These biblical women maximized their relationships for the Kingdom of God in bold and valiant ways.

On the flip side, Scripture also presents us with a competitive model of friendship. The relationships between Sarai and Hagar (Genesis 16), Rachel and Leah (Genesis 30), and Euodia and Syntyche (Philippians 4) all unraveled due to jealousy and competition. And as a result, each competitive model of friendship had disastrous consequences.

For instance, Rachel and Leah were sisters. Both were struggling with real issues—Rachel with infertility and Leah with a loveless marriage. But rather than support one another through genuinely difficult problems, they opposed one another. They competed for the attention of Jacob and became further entrenched in their own selfishness.

In the case of Euodia and Syntyche, two leaders in the Philippian church, their fighting threatened to undermine the entire unity of the church. We don’t know the source of the problem, but we do know it had the potential to cause major division.

And finally, consider the repercussions of Sarai’s actions toward Hagar. This particular relationship is not a traditional friendship in the sense that there was a power difference between the two. What’s more, Sarai was obviously the transgressor. Even so, this female relationship was rife with jealousy, and we continue to feel the ripple effects of Sarai’s actions even today. The Islamic religion traces its roots back to Hagar’s son, Ishmael, and when you consider how much war and violence has transpired between Islam and the Judeo-Christian faiths, the negative consequences of one sour female relationship are inestimable.

As we look at the three Christ-centered models of friendship, we see many wonderful fruits: encouragement, perseverance, faithfulness, courage, intimacy with one another, and intimacy with God. Ruth became an ancestor of Christ, Mary was the mother of Christ, and the women at the cross and resurrection became the original evangelists, the first people to share the good news of Christ while the disciples were still hiding in fear.

On the other hand, the three competitive models of female relationships also have fruits: selfishness, division, and destruction.

As I compared the fruits of these two models, I was struck by the distinction. The fruits of the former model are consistent with the character of Christ. The fruits of the latter model are consistent with the character of his Enemy.

The female relationships we see in Scripture are important reminders that female conflict is not neutral. Our petty in-fighting and name-calling are not failures to achieve an ideal; they are tangibly destructive. God can use the love and encouragement and passion of female friendships to do incredible things in the Kingdom of God, but Satan can just as easily pervert female friendship to wreak havoc.

Knowing this, I want you to pause and weigh the cost the next time you speak negatively about a sister. Consider why you are doing it, whether it is consistent with the character of Christ, whether it is loving, and whether it will build up the church or divide it. Our relationships have power, so we cannot take them lightly. There is something about the female heart that seems especially prone to attack women with whom we disagree or feel jealous, and that is nothing but sin. Plain and simple. We can disagree, most certainly, but watch carefully how you do it. God is not glorified by the ugliness of pot-shots and gossip, but Satan revels in it.

Sharon Hodde Miller is a blogger, freelance writer, and PhD candidate who lives in the Chicago area. You can find her at her blog, She Worships. 

Calling Unfolds - Myths and realities of how God calls us

Written by Nicole Unice at Gifted for LeadershipShe found me in the church kitchen. “I know you are busy, but…” her fingers plucked at her sweater. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I leaned on the doorjamb and leaned into the conversation. Life was hard, she said. She wondered if I could pray for her to get this new job, and she wanted to ask me about how I got to the ministry position I held at the church.She looked down at the floor and kept picking at her sweater, and the words tumbled out. Being a mom was harder than she thought. Staying home and “just” cheering her husband on in ministry wasn’t so great. And as the words came, they became stronger and more honest. She was anxious for her future and jealous of his. “I feel like I’m wasting my life,” she said. “I just want to find my calling.”

Just.

Find.

My calling.

This isn’t only one conversation I’ve had, but an echo I’ve heard from so many. And I’ve not only heard these words; I’ve thought them myself. Just how does a woman find her calling, particularly in ministry? Let’s evaluate some of the myths and realities of our call:

“Just” Never Is

If I could just get this next job…If I just had enough money for a babysitter…If I could just finish my degree…If my church would just hire me. How many of us have suffered under the tyranny of the “just?” Just is a word we should remove from our vocabulary. There is no easy or one-step path to our call. The word “calling” is defined as “a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career.” Calling goes far beyond anything we find on the other side of “just.” And because of that, the path to our calling is never “just” around the next corner. Rather, calling is about a becoming a lifelong explorer. Calling is about refusing to believe that we are defined by one job, one relationship, or one season of life. And because of that, finding the shape of our call takes time, work, trial, and error.

“Find” Is too Active

I recently lost my engagement ring. I’ve been in an active search to find it ever since. I look, sometimes haphazardly and sometimes frantically, searching in the same spots over and over. This is a recipe for insanity, since I know my engagement ring can’t move itself.

We talk about “finding” our calling, and I think we give ourselves too much credit. In fact, I think it is often that our calling finds us! In the intricate dance of our will and God’s sovereignty, we find that the path to our calling isn’t about just finding anything. The path to our calling is about taking one obedient step at a time, listening for our call rather than actively finding it. When I began seminary, I had the distinct sense that I was to enjoy one class at a time—focusing not on the end product but on each step I took. As my “calling” switched from ministry to counseling, from full-time mom to part-time counselor and then into full-time ministry, I’ve found that lesson to be foundational. John Steinbeck once wrote, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it” (Travels with Charley).

My Calling Exists!

You have a calling. God is actively, certainly calling you to something. He calls in many ways. He called Moses with a burning bush. He called Miriam through her family and her gifts for song and speech (Exodus 15:20). He called Hannah through the waiting, He called Mary through an angel. He called Paul through a blinding light and Nicodemus through a conversation in the dark. He is not limited in his creativity and he’s not nervous about your timeline. He’s looking for humble hearts that are fully devoted to him and willing to do anything to move his kingdom forward. He cares about those who care about the fringes, the young, the weak, the powerless. He equips us for the work he wants us to do, not the work we think we want to do. And he uses all of our lives—our waiting places, our frustrations, our experiences, and our gifts—to shape us into women who will be strong enough for the call he will place on our lives.

So What Next?

My friend in the church kitchen that day has a calling—although it’s not yet clear what that is. You have a calling too, and no matter where you are on your journey, you aren’t going to miss it. You aren’t going to pass by one opportunity or one job or one option and be useless in God’s hands. He didn’t give up on Peter when he denied him three times at the cross, and he won’t give up on you. God’s too big for that. So don’t worry about missing it.

God’s not concerned about your timeline, and he won’t be late for his own agenda for your life. The secret of our calling, it seems, is not so much in “just finding a calling” through the expected channels, but in the unexpected detours. Calling is not about a job description, although sometimes a job description captures some of it. Calling reaches beyond resumes and positions. Calling is like personality—steady over time and through circumstances.

In my own season of wrestling with calling, I had the opportunity to hear author Parker Palmerspeak. His words were helpful:“Your calling is anything that you can’t not do.” When we’re young, sometimes we think there are a million things “we can’t not do.” But with experience, with waiting, with humbling ourselves and allowing God to shape us into souls he can use, our calling becomes clearer. We begin to let go of what we can do without. And like a Polaroid picture slowly coming into vision, our calling becomes sharper, clearer. We begin to make decisions based on the broad strokes of things “we can’t not do”…like showing mercy, working for justice, or embracing our call to lead. Our calling might take us into the classroom or the homeless shelter or our own kitchens or our church offices. But it will not be limited by a job, because our calling becomes part of us, part of our spiritual DNA.

Annie Dillard once said, “I think it would be well, and proper, and obedient, and pure, to grasp your one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it limp wherever it takes you” (Living Like Weasels).

And so I told my friend, that day in the kitchen, that her life mattered and that God had not forgotten her. I told her to persevere and ask God to open her eyes to what he was teaching her. And I told her to move forward with her life, knowing that this hidden time might turn out to be the most important part of “just finding her calling.” And that’s worth waiting for.

Nicole Unice is a ministry leader at Hope Church in Richmond, VA, a regular contributor forToday’s Christian Woman, and author of She’s Got Issues (Tyndale). You can find her blogging at NicoleUnice.com or on Twitter @nicoleunice.

Discover Your God-Given Calling: Find your passion and put it into action

Written by Julia Mateer at Gifted for Leadership

More often than not, you will find Yolanda staying past hours at the all girls’ school where she works as a counselor. For Yolanda, her work is not just a job, it’s her calling. She is passionate about counseling adolescent girls. Sure, she has a few bad days now and then, but usually she can’t wait to get to work. Yolanda unlocked the key to her calling, passion. Knowing your passion is the key to discovering your calling.

As a therapist and women’s ministry leader, I’m often asked, “How do I know what my calling is?” Answering this profound and life-altering question sets the trajectory of your life toward the adventure God has for you. It is my belief that once you know your passion, you will know your calling. For many of us, discovering passion can seem like a daunting task, but there are questions you can answer that will help with your quest. Grab a cup of java, dust off your journal, and begin to unmask your calling by completing the following exercises.

Listen to Your Life

Our days are filled with busyness to the point where we don’t take time to listen to our lives. Quieting yourself and answering the following questions will help you uncover your passion.

1. If money were not an issue, what would you do with your time?
2. What do you love to do? What do you hate to do?
3. What gives you energy? What drains the life out of you?
4. What do you want to change, shape, and leave better than you found it?
5. What segment of the population are you drawn to help?
6. What do you want to experience, witness, and learn?

Mission Statements

Writing a mission statement puts a framework to your passion. For example, my mission statement is this: To encourage, direct, and inspire people to reach their full potential. It’s easy to understand and remember, helping me to say yes to opportunities that line up with my mission statement and no to those that do not.

Here are a few tips for writing your own mission statement:

• Keep it simple.
• Keep it general enough that you don’t pigeonhole yourself.
• Remember, a mission statements is changeable, a living document.

Dream

Once you have discovered your passion and developed your mission statement, it’s time to use your imagination, throw off convention, and dream. Everything you do in your external world begins in your internal world. Allow yourself to dream and dream big. Don’t think of the how; just let the ideas flow, creating a list of the ways you can use your passion. Once you have several ideas, narrow your list to two or three. Submit the ideas to the Lord and wait on him for confirmation.

Passion into Action

Now that you have discovered your passion, written your mission statement, and developed ideas on what to do with your passion, it’s time to devise a plan to make your dream reality by putting your passion into action. The first step in developing an action plan is to recognize the cages you put around yourself that hinder you from going after your passion and fulfilling the call of God on your life. Look at the list below and identify those cages that imprison you.

• Fear
• Insecurity
• Finances
• Responsibilities
• Past mistakes
• Perfectionism

If you identified with one or more of these cages, ask yourself the following question: Do you want to die without pursuing your God-given passion? I know I don’t. I don’t want to settle for anything other than the adventure God has for me.

I want to encourage you to break out of your cage and step into your God-given adventure by pursuing your passion. If you need help breaking out of your cage and into your calling, seek counseling from your pastor or a Christian counselor. Don’t settle for anything less than the adventure God has for you. You will not regret it!

Julia Mateer is a writer, speaker, therapist, and director of women’s small groups at Bayside Community Church. You can connect with Julia on her website.

Going Through the Motions: Are you passionate about what you do?

Written by JoHannah Reardon at Gifted for Leadership

My husband and I have a long history of full-time Christian service. We met through a campus missionary organization and independently joined the staff of that group. A year later, we both recognized that not only was our calling similar, but our attraction to each other was too! And so began an adventure of listening to God together.

When my husband felt that God was calling him to seminary, however, I balked. It meant another move and certain poverty for three years, so I was less than excited. But as we prayed about it for almost a year after he first mentioned it, I became as enthusiastic as he was. And although I couldn’t take classes because someone had to care for our two little ones and earn some money, I felt that the call to seminary was a joint calling—mine as much as his. To this day, we refer to that time as “When we were in seminary…”

Following seminary, we took on a church plant. Again I say “we.” For although my husband was the pastor who got the paycheck, I contributed as much emotional energy—and close to as much physical energy—to establish this church, which is now healthy and thriving.

Nice story, right? Good, happy ending. Uh, not quite—because it isn’t the end.

Fast-forward 27 years to the present. About two years ago, my husband felt the same kind of pull that he’d felt when God called him to seminary. Through numerous trips overseas, he began to feel compelled to help the pastors he met there. He realized that his pastoral training and experience were abundant beyond imagination to pastors in poorer parts of the world who were lucky to own a Bible. So he wanted to go with a missionary organization that trains pastors internationally. This time, it took me no time to jump on the bandwagon. This ministry seemed a perfect fit for his abilities and passions, and although he had to raise support, I could provide much-needed stability until the funds were raised because I had a good, secure job. So, we saved money like crazy and he resigned as pastor of the church and joined the missionary organization.

All was going as planned until I suddenly lost my position when he had only 35 percent of his funds raised. We went from two paychecks to none since he can’t start drawing a paycheck until he has 50 percent of it raised.

My first reaction was not panic but sorrow (the panic came later). I loved my job and felt it to be more than a job—a calling. It was exactly suited to my abilities and was not just a paycheck but a ministry. I was immediately offered another job to take the place of the one I’d lost, but I felt no peace or passion as I prayed about it—and I turned it down, which showed me how strongly I feel about calling. I had experienced what it meant to be called and didn’t want to just go through the motions of obtaining employment merely for the paycheck.

The whole experience has been clarifying for me. I realized that even the job I was in had become routine. After almost 10 years, I had it down and was pretty much going through the motions. I hadn’t taken the time to ask God if he still wanted me to be doing it, but continued to plug along—unlike my husband, who left his secure position to strike out in obedience.

So I am now in a rather good place. I am open to anything God wants me to do and excited to find out what it is. And I’ve learned a few things through the whole experience about calling and what it means.

Take Time to Listen

I love that my husband has had the courage to leave the secure and known for the insecure and the unknown. The only way he could do that is by lots of prayerful time before God. He was in the same pastorate for 27 years, so periodically, he would take time to pray that God would show him if he was to stay or pursue something else. Always, the call to stay came back loud and clear—until a couple of years ago. Then the pull began to be in a different direction. It sounded like craziness for someone his age, but because he’d been faithful to obey in the past, he knew God’s voice in the present.

I am now in the same place for a different reason. I’ve lost my position, so I need to take time to listen to God. This certainly didn’t take God by surprise, and he knows exactly what he wants me to be doing that best fits with how he made me. Rather than jumping at the first secure position, I’m taking time to listen to what he wants me to do next. And I’m beginning to recognize ways he was nudging me even before I lost my job.

Be Radical but Not Foolish

My husband and I are both very aware that there is a fine line between radical obedience and foolishness. We’ve counseled people in the past who said they felt callings that turned out to be just wishful thinking. One particular person felt “called” to an international speaking ministry. They wanted to quit their job and pursue it full-time. We knew this person’s unstable history and advised against it. The “calling” was merely a desire for affirmation that they hoped would come when thousands of people hung on their every word. We suggested that the person keep their job and begin speaking to smaller venues to see if God was in this calling or if their own needs were driving it. Fortunately, this person listened. Even the smaller speaking opportunities didn’t work out. But this person has found another ministry that is meeting many needs in their local church, while still keeping their day job.

How is that different from my husband’s calling to quit his job? Quite different in that his motivation was to help others and not primarily to meet his own needs. And he shared his ideas with many, many people before he resigned his position as pastor. Everyone he talked to immediately said that it sounded exactly suited to his passions and abilities. Not a single person thought it was a bad idea. Even his security-loving parents assured him that it sounded like a perfect fit.

And what about me turning down a full-time position when neither of us have an income? I agree that on the face of it, it sounds foolish. But I, too, talked to many people about it and got the same affirmation. Plus, we had some safeguards in place. We had saved enough money to get by for a while in case we needed it in this transition. And I have a pretty healthy freelance-writing career that brings in some income. That gave us enough of a cushion to have the luxury of taking time to truly listen to God and follow his leading.

So if you are thinking of doing something radical, slow down and take some time to ponder it. If you tend toward impulsive behavior, step back. God is not in a hurry.

Affirm the Calling 

If, however, you are not impulsive but the slow and steady type, this challenge is for you. If you are reading this article, you most likely are involved with ministry of some kind. Have you taken the time to make sure that’s what you are really supposed to be doing, or are you just going through the motions because it is the secure, safe thing to do?

If you love what you are doing, find great fulfillment in it, and are using your gifts, you are most likely exactly where you should be. Rejoice in that and renew the calling you first had.

But if you are feeling a bit restless and have lost your passion, perhaps God is trying to get your attention to lead you in another direction. Take time to listen. If he begins to nudge you in those times of listening, begin testing the idea. Present it to those who love you and know you best to get their opinions. If wise people affirm you, begin to find out what your options are. And even if it’s scary, take the first step in obedience. Because being where you are called to be is the most secure place in the universe.

JoHannah Reardon blogs at johannahreardon.com and is the author of seven fictional books and two devotional guides. 

The Church of People Who Like to Be Liked

Written by Sharon Hodde Miller at Gifted for Leadership

I really enjoy being nice to people.

Initiating friendly small talk with my grocery-store cashier or graciously showing patience to my overworked waitress brings me happiness. There’s something about sharing a laugh with a stranger or bringing a smile to a person’s face that is nearly exhilarating. I love it. I walk away with an extra skip in my step and a part of me thinks, “I love being a Christian!”

In my mind, whenever I am kind to someone for no reason at all, whenever I extend mercy at a time when others might not, whenever I inquire about the day of the telemarketer who calls—I equate all these things with the Christian life. Christ compels us to love our neighbors and our enemies—to love everyone—so the warm feeling I get from these encounters must be related to Jesus, I reason. It is the part of my heart that is conformed to his.

And perhaps that is true. Perhaps Jesus was just as friendly and happy-go-lucky with everyone he crossed. But I would be lying if I said that this mindset can’t be deceptive. Behind my joy is also a deep desire to be liked by everyone I meet. While I genuinely enjoy encouraging strangers because I do care about them, I also want people to think I’m nice and funny and kind. It builds me up inside. It makes me feel like a good person.

I know that not everyone is like me. Some people don’t care what everyone thinks about them. Others are so profoundly introverted that it is difficult to engage in the smallest exchanges with strangers. But I am quite sure there are other Christians like me, and there’s a part of me that wonders if my personality type gravitates toward the church. After all, the church affirms my natural inclinations. When I treat people the way I would treat people anyway (Christian or not), I can call that behavior Christian. I can credit spiritual fruit to myself even when there is no actual spiritual growth.

In his book Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis wrote of this problem. He warned of the “fatal mistake” of believing that Christianity demands niceness alone. He believed that “a certain level of good conduct comes fairly easily” to some people, and he attributed this to what he called “natural causes.” Lewis therefore concluded that God does not look at an individual’s nice or nasty temperament the way we do. We might see an ornery Christian and call her a hypocrite, whereas a kind and gentle Christian incites our praise. What we fail to consider is where each person started. Who were they before they knew Christ? If they were just as nice and friendly prior to salvation as they were following, then their sanctification will look different from that of the temperamental Christian.

While the grumpy Christian may seem to be in greater need of grace, Lewis warned that nice Christians are in greater peril. Where there is no perceived need, we depend less on God. If niceness comes naturally to us, and niceness is the goal, then we are less desperate for God.

That is a great danger. Given that people-pleasing is a form of idolatry, it can be easily hidden within the realm of the Christian community. It can be passed off as Christ-likeness when it is, in fact, sin. That is not to say that being kind to others is wrong, but that we must scrutinize our motives. On this front, Jesus offered some helpful words in Luke 6:32–36:

“If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.”

Even in loving my enemies there is a temptation to people-please because I cannot stand the thought of someone disliking me. Yet admitting that temptation is the first step toward loving my neighbors and enemies for the right reason: by the grace of God for the glory of God.

At the heart of people-pleasing and a Christianity measured by niceness is a works righteousness that is antithetical to the gospel. The ultimate cure for this tendency is total dependence on God. Those for whom friendliness is harder are more likely to depend on God in this area; the rest of us are less so. That’s why it is crucial to remember the final aim of the Christian life is not niceness but complete and total transformation, as Lewis wrote: “God became man to turn creatures into sons; not simply to produce better men of the old kind but to produce a new kind of man.”

That is a work that God alone is capable of achieving.

Sharon Hodde Miller is a blogger, freelance writer, and PhD candidate who lives in the Chicago area. You can find her at her blog, She Worships.