When God is Silent or Delays

Written by Anita Carman at Today's Christian Woman

God's delays have often perplexed me. It seems to me that since his goal is to reach the world for him, when I ask him, "What do you want me to do with my life?," he should answer quickly and immediately so I can get on with whatever it is he wants me to do. Instead, there is often silence. But why would God be silent if he desires me to do his will?

I kept thinking the problem was God, but one day God opened my eyes to see that the problem was me.

I realized that God often was waiting to answer because I was not ready. I "surrendered all" without understanding the cost. I said I would go wherever he led, but my willingness to go was really based on my own ideas about where I was going. My intention wasn't for God to tell me what he wanted me to do, but for him to bless my plans. It hadn't occurred to me that God had plans of his own and that I existed for his purpose. To my total shock, I realized that God was silent because he was showing grace. He was silent because I was still in preparation for the call. He knew I wasn't ready.

We know that God is the perfect steward of his resources—and those resources include us. He doesn't waste our gifts and talents, but he might wait to use them until we are perfectly prepared for the task he has for us. So if God hasn't spoken, it must be because it's not time. He is still in preparation, and we are part of that preparation.

Understanding God's call on your life

God orchestrates the events of our lives to lead us to his calling for us. But still so many of us miss the boat or shrink back from what he wants us to do. He leads us to what he wants, and then he waits for us to understand and accept it. Through my own experiences, God has shown me that there are three stages to understanding and accepting our calling:.

Stage One: Declare That You Will Follow

This stage may sound obvious. After all, if we don't plan to follow God's call, why would we want to understand it? However, it is not as easy as it might seem. When initially confronted with God's plan, we may feel overwhelmed and immediately shrink back from it. We might not want to respond for various reasons.

Luke 9:57-62 tells of several situations where those who professed their desire to follow Jesus immediately came up with all kinds of reasons to justify delaying their obedience (which, in fact, is disobedience).

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-bye to my family." Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

God wants us to respond to him with obedience, regardless of the cost. So the first step in understanding and accepting his call is just that—declaring you will accept it.

Stage Two: Fully Appreciate the Cost and Be Willing to Pay It

It might seem as if you should fully appreciate the cost of God's calling before accepting it. But the experience has shown me that no matter how long I take to assess the cost of obedience, I don't fully appreciate it until I make my unwavering declaration to follow.

So what will compel us to not only declare our commitment to Christ, but also to actually pay the cost of following him? God has shown me that often my delay in following Jesus boils down to the question Jesus asked Peter three times in John 21: "Do you love me?"

Could it really be that simple? Is accepting the cost really just about settling in our hearts if we love him? God showed me the answer to this through my own personal life. If my husband or sons were ill, would I not spare any expense to help them recover? Would I reprioritize my schedule to get them to the hospital? Would I not cut expenses wherever I could to be able to pay for their care? Would I spend one second analyzing whether I would pay for the cost? In my answers to those questions, I answer the question of whether or not I love them. I would do what I needed to do, no matter the cost, because I love them.

Few people question how much of themselves, their time, and their resources they will give their children or grandchildren. Few parents would hesitate to give a kidney to their dying child. Yet when it comes to giving God what he longs for, we often find ourselves setting a ceiling on our affections, which effectually tell him that we don't really love him—our Father and King. We must be willing to pay the cost in order to follow God's call.

Stage Three: Acknowledge God's Power

After we declare our commitment to God and decide that we are willing to pay the cost no matter what, we need to realize that the only way we can give God what he desires is through leaning on him and trusting in his power. If we try to do it on our own, we will surely fail. It is through his strength that we can actually pay the cost of our calling.

I knew a woman who wrestled with God when he first called her to serve in the ministry. She accepted the call. She understood clearly how much her calling would cost her, and she took a leap of faith in accepting it. She felt comfortable until she got to stage three: Part of the cost was leaving corporate America to serve God full-time in ministry.

She asked God to part the Red Sea by providing for her financially before she cut the umbilical cord from her corporate job. As I watched her wrestle with her decision, I knew from observing God's patterns that he was not going to provide for her until she stopped trying to solve challenges in her own power. Using her own human logic, she determined she did not know anyone who could support her, and tried to make ends meet through her own savings. She ran short. Meanwhile, God had connections for her throughout the city, but she never once asked God to lead her to these connections. As a result, she stayed in corporate America, and missed God's divine appointment.

In her human capability, she was not able to trust God with new ways to provide for her future finances. It is when we humble ourselves before God and acknowledge his power over all things that he will then carry us to a level beyond our wildest imagination. Let's look at an example of this in the life of a member of our royal family tree. When Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, he asked the question three times. The first time, Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" (John 21:15). The word Jesus used for "love" in this question was the Greek word agapao, which is a decision to love—the same kind of love that led Jesus to finish his work on the cross. There are times when we do not feel like loving, but we do so as an act of our choice and will. That is agapao love. Peter's answer to this questions was, "Yes Lord … you know that I love you" (John 21:15). But the Greek word for love that Peter used was phileo, which is a friendship type of love, clearly not one as intense as what Jesus was asking for.

In John 21:16, Jesus asked Peter a second time, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" Again, he used the word agapao. And Peter again answered with phileo. Then an incredible thing happened. Jesus asked Peter the question a third time, but this time he used the word phileo instead of agapao. He confirmed Peter's admission that he could not, in his own power, do what was asked of him. So God went to where Peter was. It is the same with us. When we humble ourselves before him and acknowledge our human weaknesses, he meets us where we are, and then he grows us into what he is asking of us.

I wish I could tell you that God speaks clearly and consistently, but there are many days when I can't hear him. Yet that doesn't mean I should just give up. I believe that often that doesn't mean I should just give it up. I believe that often God uses those times of silence to see if I will trust him more. When I know that I am on the path God has called me to, yet he is silent, I simply proceed through any open door I can find. I don't stop because he isn't speaking. Even when no doors seem to be open, I can't give up on his dream.

As I look back over the years at Inspire Women, I remember many times I just wanted to crawl into bed and never wake up because of God's silence during the storms. Yet all the while, I felt a strong conviction that I was doing exactly what God wanted. I knew that God was watching over me and that he wanted to know if he could trust me to keep going even when he was silent.

I have learned that the more we walk with God, the more faith he expects for us. As God conforms us to Jesus' image, he will walk us into times when he is intentionally silent, and he will watch to see if we stay on course and keep doing the last thing we heard him tell us to do.

Adapted from Transforming for a Purpose: Fulfulling God's Mission as Daughters of the King. Copyright © 2009 by Anita Carman. Used by permission of Moody Publishers.

Our Unique Call

So many terrible things happen every day that we start wondering whether the few things we do ourselves make any sense.  When people are starving only a few thousand miles away, when wars are raging close to our borders, when countless people in our own cities have no homes to live in, our own activities look futile. Such considerations, however, can paralyse us and depress us.

Here the word call becomes important.  We are not called to save the world, solve all problems, and help all people.  But we each have our own unique call, in our families, in our work, in our world.  We have to keep asking God to help us see clearly what our call is and to give us the strength to live out that call with trust.  Then we will discover that our faithfulness to a small task is the most healing response to the illnesses of our time.

Calling Unfolds - Myths and realities of how God calls us

Written by Nicole Unice at Gifted for LeadershipShe found me in the church kitchen. “I know you are busy, but…” her fingers plucked at her sweater. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I leaned on the doorjamb and leaned into the conversation. Life was hard, she said. She wondered if I could pray for her to get this new job, and she wanted to ask me about how I got to the ministry position I held at the church.She looked down at the floor and kept picking at her sweater, and the words tumbled out. Being a mom was harder than she thought. Staying home and “just” cheering her husband on in ministry wasn’t so great. And as the words came, they became stronger and more honest. She was anxious for her future and jealous of his. “I feel like I’m wasting my life,” she said. “I just want to find my calling.”

Just.

Find.

My calling.

This isn’t only one conversation I’ve had, but an echo I’ve heard from so many. And I’ve not only heard these words; I’ve thought them myself. Just how does a woman find her calling, particularly in ministry? Let’s evaluate some of the myths and realities of our call:

“Just” Never Is

If I could just get this next job…If I just had enough money for a babysitter…If I could just finish my degree…If my church would just hire me. How many of us have suffered under the tyranny of the “just?” Just is a word we should remove from our vocabulary. There is no easy or one-step path to our call. The word “calling” is defined as “a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career.” Calling goes far beyond anything we find on the other side of “just.” And because of that, the path to our calling is never “just” around the next corner. Rather, calling is about a becoming a lifelong explorer. Calling is about refusing to believe that we are defined by one job, one relationship, or one season of life. And because of that, finding the shape of our call takes time, work, trial, and error.

“Find” Is too Active

I recently lost my engagement ring. I’ve been in an active search to find it ever since. I look, sometimes haphazardly and sometimes frantically, searching in the same spots over and over. This is a recipe for insanity, since I know my engagement ring can’t move itself.

We talk about “finding” our calling, and I think we give ourselves too much credit. In fact, I think it is often that our calling finds us! In the intricate dance of our will and God’s sovereignty, we find that the path to our calling isn’t about just finding anything. The path to our calling is about taking one obedient step at a time, listening for our call rather than actively finding it. When I began seminary, I had the distinct sense that I was to enjoy one class at a time—focusing not on the end product but on each step I took. As my “calling” switched from ministry to counseling, from full-time mom to part-time counselor and then into full-time ministry, I’ve found that lesson to be foundational. John Steinbeck once wrote, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it” (Travels with Charley).

My Calling Exists!

You have a calling. God is actively, certainly calling you to something. He calls in many ways. He called Moses with a burning bush. He called Miriam through her family and her gifts for song and speech (Exodus 15:20). He called Hannah through the waiting, He called Mary through an angel. He called Paul through a blinding light and Nicodemus through a conversation in the dark. He is not limited in his creativity and he’s not nervous about your timeline. He’s looking for humble hearts that are fully devoted to him and willing to do anything to move his kingdom forward. He cares about those who care about the fringes, the young, the weak, the powerless. He equips us for the work he wants us to do, not the work we think we want to do. And he uses all of our lives—our waiting places, our frustrations, our experiences, and our gifts—to shape us into women who will be strong enough for the call he will place on our lives.

So What Next?

My friend in the church kitchen that day has a calling—although it’s not yet clear what that is. You have a calling too, and no matter where you are on your journey, you aren’t going to miss it. You aren’t going to pass by one opportunity or one job or one option and be useless in God’s hands. He didn’t give up on Peter when he denied him three times at the cross, and he won’t give up on you. God’s too big for that. So don’t worry about missing it.

God’s not concerned about your timeline, and he won’t be late for his own agenda for your life. The secret of our calling, it seems, is not so much in “just finding a calling” through the expected channels, but in the unexpected detours. Calling is not about a job description, although sometimes a job description captures some of it. Calling reaches beyond resumes and positions. Calling is like personality—steady over time and through circumstances.

In my own season of wrestling with calling, I had the opportunity to hear author Parker Palmerspeak. His words were helpful:“Your calling is anything that you can’t not do.” When we’re young, sometimes we think there are a million things “we can’t not do.” But with experience, with waiting, with humbling ourselves and allowing God to shape us into souls he can use, our calling becomes clearer. We begin to let go of what we can do without. And like a Polaroid picture slowly coming into vision, our calling becomes sharper, clearer. We begin to make decisions based on the broad strokes of things “we can’t not do”…like showing mercy, working for justice, or embracing our call to lead. Our calling might take us into the classroom or the homeless shelter or our own kitchens or our church offices. But it will not be limited by a job, because our calling becomes part of us, part of our spiritual DNA.

Annie Dillard once said, “I think it would be well, and proper, and obedient, and pure, to grasp your one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it limp wherever it takes you” (Living Like Weasels).

And so I told my friend, that day in the kitchen, that her life mattered and that God had not forgotten her. I told her to persevere and ask God to open her eyes to what he was teaching her. And I told her to move forward with her life, knowing that this hidden time might turn out to be the most important part of “just finding her calling.” And that’s worth waiting for.

Nicole Unice is a ministry leader at Hope Church in Richmond, VA, a regular contributor forToday’s Christian Woman, and author of She’s Got Issues (Tyndale). You can find her blogging at NicoleUnice.com or on Twitter @nicoleunice.

Discover Your God-Given Calling: Find your passion and put it into action

Written by Julia Mateer at Gifted for Leadership

More often than not, you will find Yolanda staying past hours at the all girls’ school where she works as a counselor. For Yolanda, her work is not just a job, it’s her calling. She is passionate about counseling adolescent girls. Sure, she has a few bad days now and then, but usually she can’t wait to get to work. Yolanda unlocked the key to her calling, passion. Knowing your passion is the key to discovering your calling.

As a therapist and women’s ministry leader, I’m often asked, “How do I know what my calling is?” Answering this profound and life-altering question sets the trajectory of your life toward the adventure God has for you. It is my belief that once you know your passion, you will know your calling. For many of us, discovering passion can seem like a daunting task, but there are questions you can answer that will help with your quest. Grab a cup of java, dust off your journal, and begin to unmask your calling by completing the following exercises.

Listen to Your Life

Our days are filled with busyness to the point where we don’t take time to listen to our lives. Quieting yourself and answering the following questions will help you uncover your passion.

1. If money were not an issue, what would you do with your time?
2. What do you love to do? What do you hate to do?
3. What gives you energy? What drains the life out of you?
4. What do you want to change, shape, and leave better than you found it?
5. What segment of the population are you drawn to help?
6. What do you want to experience, witness, and learn?

Mission Statements

Writing a mission statement puts a framework to your passion. For example, my mission statement is this: To encourage, direct, and inspire people to reach their full potential. It’s easy to understand and remember, helping me to say yes to opportunities that line up with my mission statement and no to those that do not.

Here are a few tips for writing your own mission statement:

• Keep it simple.
• Keep it general enough that you don’t pigeonhole yourself.
• Remember, a mission statements is changeable, a living document.

Dream

Once you have discovered your passion and developed your mission statement, it’s time to use your imagination, throw off convention, and dream. Everything you do in your external world begins in your internal world. Allow yourself to dream and dream big. Don’t think of the how; just let the ideas flow, creating a list of the ways you can use your passion. Once you have several ideas, narrow your list to two or three. Submit the ideas to the Lord and wait on him for confirmation.

Passion into Action

Now that you have discovered your passion, written your mission statement, and developed ideas on what to do with your passion, it’s time to devise a plan to make your dream reality by putting your passion into action. The first step in developing an action plan is to recognize the cages you put around yourself that hinder you from going after your passion and fulfilling the call of God on your life. Look at the list below and identify those cages that imprison you.

• Fear
• Insecurity
• Finances
• Responsibilities
• Past mistakes
• Perfectionism

If you identified with one or more of these cages, ask yourself the following question: Do you want to die without pursuing your God-given passion? I know I don’t. I don’t want to settle for anything other than the adventure God has for me.

I want to encourage you to break out of your cage and step into your God-given adventure by pursuing your passion. If you need help breaking out of your cage and into your calling, seek counseling from your pastor or a Christian counselor. Don’t settle for anything less than the adventure God has for you. You will not regret it!

Julia Mateer is a writer, speaker, therapist, and director of women’s small groups at Bayside Community Church. You can connect with Julia on her website.

Going Through the Motions: Are you passionate about what you do?

Written by JoHannah Reardon at Gifted for Leadership

My husband and I have a long history of full-time Christian service. We met through a campus missionary organization and independently joined the staff of that group. A year later, we both recognized that not only was our calling similar, but our attraction to each other was too! And so began an adventure of listening to God together.

When my husband felt that God was calling him to seminary, however, I balked. It meant another move and certain poverty for three years, so I was less than excited. But as we prayed about it for almost a year after he first mentioned it, I became as enthusiastic as he was. And although I couldn’t take classes because someone had to care for our two little ones and earn some money, I felt that the call to seminary was a joint calling—mine as much as his. To this day, we refer to that time as “When we were in seminary…”

Following seminary, we took on a church plant. Again I say “we.” For although my husband was the pastor who got the paycheck, I contributed as much emotional energy—and close to as much physical energy—to establish this church, which is now healthy and thriving.

Nice story, right? Good, happy ending. Uh, not quite—because it isn’t the end.

Fast-forward 27 years to the present. About two years ago, my husband felt the same kind of pull that he’d felt when God called him to seminary. Through numerous trips overseas, he began to feel compelled to help the pastors he met there. He realized that his pastoral training and experience were abundant beyond imagination to pastors in poorer parts of the world who were lucky to own a Bible. So he wanted to go with a missionary organization that trains pastors internationally. This time, it took me no time to jump on the bandwagon. This ministry seemed a perfect fit for his abilities and passions, and although he had to raise support, I could provide much-needed stability until the funds were raised because I had a good, secure job. So, we saved money like crazy and he resigned as pastor of the church and joined the missionary organization.

All was going as planned until I suddenly lost my position when he had only 35 percent of his funds raised. We went from two paychecks to none since he can’t start drawing a paycheck until he has 50 percent of it raised.

My first reaction was not panic but sorrow (the panic came later). I loved my job and felt it to be more than a job—a calling. It was exactly suited to my abilities and was not just a paycheck but a ministry. I was immediately offered another job to take the place of the one I’d lost, but I felt no peace or passion as I prayed about it—and I turned it down, which showed me how strongly I feel about calling. I had experienced what it meant to be called and didn’t want to just go through the motions of obtaining employment merely for the paycheck.

The whole experience has been clarifying for me. I realized that even the job I was in had become routine. After almost 10 years, I had it down and was pretty much going through the motions. I hadn’t taken the time to ask God if he still wanted me to be doing it, but continued to plug along—unlike my husband, who left his secure position to strike out in obedience.

So I am now in a rather good place. I am open to anything God wants me to do and excited to find out what it is. And I’ve learned a few things through the whole experience about calling and what it means.

Take Time to Listen

I love that my husband has had the courage to leave the secure and known for the insecure and the unknown. The only way he could do that is by lots of prayerful time before God. He was in the same pastorate for 27 years, so periodically, he would take time to pray that God would show him if he was to stay or pursue something else. Always, the call to stay came back loud and clear—until a couple of years ago. Then the pull began to be in a different direction. It sounded like craziness for someone his age, but because he’d been faithful to obey in the past, he knew God’s voice in the present.

I am now in the same place for a different reason. I’ve lost my position, so I need to take time to listen to God. This certainly didn’t take God by surprise, and he knows exactly what he wants me to be doing that best fits with how he made me. Rather than jumping at the first secure position, I’m taking time to listen to what he wants me to do next. And I’m beginning to recognize ways he was nudging me even before I lost my job.

Be Radical but Not Foolish

My husband and I are both very aware that there is a fine line between radical obedience and foolishness. We’ve counseled people in the past who said they felt callings that turned out to be just wishful thinking. One particular person felt “called” to an international speaking ministry. They wanted to quit their job and pursue it full-time. We knew this person’s unstable history and advised against it. The “calling” was merely a desire for affirmation that they hoped would come when thousands of people hung on their every word. We suggested that the person keep their job and begin speaking to smaller venues to see if God was in this calling or if their own needs were driving it. Fortunately, this person listened. Even the smaller speaking opportunities didn’t work out. But this person has found another ministry that is meeting many needs in their local church, while still keeping their day job.

How is that different from my husband’s calling to quit his job? Quite different in that his motivation was to help others and not primarily to meet his own needs. And he shared his ideas with many, many people before he resigned his position as pastor. Everyone he talked to immediately said that it sounded exactly suited to his passions and abilities. Not a single person thought it was a bad idea. Even his security-loving parents assured him that it sounded like a perfect fit.

And what about me turning down a full-time position when neither of us have an income? I agree that on the face of it, it sounds foolish. But I, too, talked to many people about it and got the same affirmation. Plus, we had some safeguards in place. We had saved enough money to get by for a while in case we needed it in this transition. And I have a pretty healthy freelance-writing career that brings in some income. That gave us enough of a cushion to have the luxury of taking time to truly listen to God and follow his leading.

So if you are thinking of doing something radical, slow down and take some time to ponder it. If you tend toward impulsive behavior, step back. God is not in a hurry.

Affirm the Calling 

If, however, you are not impulsive but the slow and steady type, this challenge is for you. If you are reading this article, you most likely are involved with ministry of some kind. Have you taken the time to make sure that’s what you are really supposed to be doing, or are you just going through the motions because it is the secure, safe thing to do?

If you love what you are doing, find great fulfillment in it, and are using your gifts, you are most likely exactly where you should be. Rejoice in that and renew the calling you first had.

But if you are feeling a bit restless and have lost your passion, perhaps God is trying to get your attention to lead you in another direction. Take time to listen. If he begins to nudge you in those times of listening, begin testing the idea. Present it to those who love you and know you best to get their opinions. If wise people affirm you, begin to find out what your options are. And even if it’s scary, take the first step in obedience. Because being where you are called to be is the most secure place in the universe.

JoHannah Reardon blogs at johannahreardon.com and is the author of seven fictional books and two devotional guides. 

Small Is the Call

Written by Margot Starbuck at Today's Christian Woman

Sandra and her husband don't frequent local thrift stores for clothing bargains or gently-used shoes. Occasionally on date nights, though, they'll pop into one in search of … single mothers. Thankfully, they're not human traffickers. Rather, they're Christians who are itching to partner with a God who is actively engaged in the world today. Sharing God's heart for these women and their children, Sandra and her husband pay for the women's purchases and then take them to a supermarket to buy them the groceries they need. Though these Friday night adventures are counterintuitive to the kinds of messages we're fed in our culture about living to please ourselves, as they've offered themselves in kingdom service, Sandra and her husband have tasted a kind of life that really is life.

Of course God's invitation to adventure necessarily looks different in each circumstance.
• One woman offered her family's extra winter coats to a shivering family at a local school bus stop—even though she felt really awkward doing it.
• Another woman, a registered nurse, slipped into the home of a single friend recovering from knee surgery to vacuum, sweep, and dust—even though the job was way below her skill set.
• One woman stopped beside a local highway to share juice and crackers with a young family traveling cross country whose car had broken down—even though she'd miss the church committee meeting she'd left home for in the first place.

Strangely, surprise, smallness, sacrifice, and spontaneity are the unexpected marks of the adventure of kingdom-following. In this upside-down economy Jesus ushered in, those who pattern their lives after him—embracing awkward, inconvenient, humbling, and unlikely service—are those, like Sandra, who discover the kind of adventure for which they were made.

The Danger of "Big" Service
What too often keeps us from the ones God loves is our temptation to make serving others into a really big thing. With the best of intentions, we can inflate "service" into an unwieldy beast when we decide that it is what happens on the annual church mission trip to Mexico, or when we accompany the youth group to build Habitat homes in New Orleans, or respond to God's call to mission work in Africa. It's actually a convenient story for many of us because—if we live in an American cul de sac, or if we work in an office park cubicle, or if we can't travel overseas because we're pregnant—then … we're off the hook. Though I'm as lazy as the next gal, I'm also convinced that Jesus invites his followers into something so much better than being off the hook. Specifically, he hooks us into adventure by opening our eyes to opportunities to serve in our neighborhoods, workplaces, campuses, and communities. Through the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit, our eyes are opened to the teen at church who doesn't have any help at home as he applies to colleges. When our postal carrier delivers the wrong mail, we're reminded of the neighbor who's been living in a nursing home for the last six months. Or we hear from coworkers about a colleague who'll be out of work caring for a sick husband. The Spirit opens our eyes to the folks Jesus is longing to meet, love, and serve—through us. Jesus invites us to embrace a life of adventurous kingdom service that is marked by surprise, smallness, sacrifice, and spontaneity.

Who Are We to Serve?
I confess that when I think of service, too often my mind beelines to my worst nightmare: Martha-Stewart-style hospitality. Ick! Yuck! Blech! When Jesus invites us to serve, though, he's not necessarily thinking of hosting folks like our pastors or wealthy neighbor or the head of the church missions committee who—if we're really lucky and play our cards right—can return the favor. In fact, the ones he describes and moves toward are most often lacking in any sort of social capital whatsoever. In a story Jesus tells about who we're to be serving, he describes folks who are hungry, thirsty, sick, naked, imprisoned and often unknown to us—aka "strangers" (Matthew 25:35-45). Jesus says that when we serve those who are living on the world's margins, we're actually serving him: "The King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'" (Matthew 25:40). As we begin to recognize the face of Jesus in those we serve, the "stranger" is transformed into "friend" as he opens our eyes to see those folks we'd likely otherwise miss. Nudged by the Spirit, we may notice, for the first time, the thirsty gardener who tends to the lawn on the campus of our workplace. Or when we go Christmas caroling at a local nursing home we might see, as if for the first time, those who are captive to debilitating circumstance. Or the Spirit opens our eyes to the young woman with an intellectual disability who bags our groceries every week, now waiting in the rain for a bus. The surprise of kingdom service is that God opens our eyes so that we notice folks in the daily rhythm of our lives that we've just never seen before. What Does Kingdom Service Look Like? Although Jesus' act of self-giving love on the cross—admittedly a big thing—is the pattern into which each of us is called, the way the pattern is fleshed out in our everyday lives is meant to be small. Again and again in the Gospels Jesus invites his followers to embrace small acts of love. Really wanting his friends to understand this, he made it plain. One night at the end of his life, when Jesus' friends saw him take off his robe and wrap a towel around his waist, they were floored. After all, the nasty job of washing guests' stinky, dusty feet was a servant's job. It was low. And he was the Master, after all! Having washed their feet, putting his teacher clothes back on, Jesus explained, "Since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet" (John 13:14). Knowing they—and we!—would be tempted toward big, showy, impressive acts of bravado, Jesus let them know that authentic service isn't showy or flashy at all. In fact, it's more often small and humble, such as feet washing. And meal serving. And thirst quenching. And clothes providing. And lonely visiting. The truth that kingdom service is marked by smallness rather than grandeur is great news for those of us with full, busy lives. It's what puts us back on the hook to care for neighbors and coworkers, friends and strangers.

The Way to Serve
McDonald's' ads insist that we deserve a break today. Sprite suggests we should obey our thirst. Clothing manufacturers convince us that, even if we're suitably well-clothed, we ought to keep up with fashions that change every three or four months. All around us, retailers condition us to believe that we are made (and deserve) to be pleased. But the topsy-turvy message of Jesus, which is entirely countercultural, describes a different kind of reality. "The greatest among you," he says, "must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted" (Matthew 23:11-12). He also says, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it" (Luke 17:33). Clearly, no one's buying banner ads on Facebook promoting Christian self-sacrifice! And yet, the unlikely way of Jesus is one in which death to self gives way to real life. The young woman who spends the night with her church's ministry to folks transitioning out of homelessness discovers she's blessed and vivified by sacrificing a good night of shut eye. The one who rushes out of work at three o'clock to tutor children who live in her neighborhood is enlivened by service. The woman who spends Sunday afternoons with a neighbor living with dementia, to give the woman's family some free time together, finds life in her sacrificial gift. The secret of death giving way to life is one that Jesus knew and into which he invites his followers. Dallas Willard and Richard Foster call disciplines like these the "secret of the easy yoke."

When to Serve
Janice was rushing from her car into the bank before it closed for the evening. Lingering outside was a woman she'd seen before at a nearby intersection, where she held a crude cardboard sign asking for money. The woman's hair was matted, her skin browned by the sun, and she had a faint odor about her. When Janice came out of the bank, cash in pocket, the woman asked her if she could spare some change. Uncomfortable but compelled by God's great love for the woman, Janice prayerfully considered stepping into new territory. The fact that her typically full schedule was strangely clear that evening only seemed to seal the deal. "I don't give out money, but if you'd like to join me for dinner, we could grab a bite next door at McDonald's." After thinking it over for a moment, the woman agreed. Service isn't always something extra we schedule into our day planners, carving out three hours on a Saturday morning to swing a hammer or that "service week" in Haiti. In fact, the witness of the Gospels is one of Jesus and others encountering and responding to those in need in the natural course of their days. Sometimes, that meant sharing a meal. One time it was a donkey ride to an inn (Luke 10:25-37). Other times, hearts and bodies were healed. As you determine to join the kingdom adventure of service, allow the Spirit to move you in new unexpected ways.

The Secret of the Easy Yoke
If you've imagined "Christian service" as an obligatory duty that must simply be endured, you've been missing out on the joyful adventure into which you've been called. Jesus has something so much better for you! You were made to move with Jesus toward the sometimes unlikely ones he loves. And though it often does seem inconvenient or awkward or unlikely, as you step toward the ones Jesus loves, aware of his presence with you, you participate in establishing the new kingdom he ushered in. Author Shane Claiborne confirms, "God is preparing each of us for something really, really small … and it's small things done with great love that move the world."

Margot Starbuck is the author of Small Things with Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor. www.margotstarbuck.com