Obedience that comes through Faith,

This week has been a long and interesting journey, especially for myself and mostly the others too. Weeks ago, I was nominated for Student Council and well, I was pretty much surprised! I was really nervous especially when I came to the fact that I had to be interviewed by the Student Councils themselves and it was pretty scary, but it all went well, Praise God! Then came to the speech part, when I had to present myself in front of the "entire" student of MCKL, on stage. I had never done this in my entire life, apart from emceeing for a certain event, I had never ever did anything like this before. I was pretty doubtful before the speech, having to have a really tough competitor and wanting to quit the moment before I had to present my speech. But God had been so faithful throughout the weeks, He inspired me in so many ways and especially the fact that He was the one whom inspired me to write a speech about my past experience! &Well, I doubted that too, cos I thought that people wouldn't understand how it feels, but on that day, things change and well something took over me and I believe that it was God working in me, and especially my speech. I managed to pull it through, and was really encouraged when my friends were there to support me and to my surprise, the Juniors were too!
Praise God, no?

To myself, I believe that this is what God wants me to do. Having Him to tell and assure to me countless times that I am able to do it, especially when He told me that there are greater things yet to be done in MCKL and the fact that the other day when He asked me what would I do if I become a Student Council Member. I know and had seen how it went, being one and it was totally out of my field especially when I am an extremely shy person and well being an introvert was an extra effort for me. &I'd always thought that, the greater things were yet to be done in CF. Mr. Yoshua said this before, "Sometimes, God wants you to do things out of your comfort zone." &that was the time when I doubted the fact that I was able to do it.
Well, to tell you the truth, after knowing the fact that I was in and everyone around me was so happy; I couldn't help but to think for this, that this is it, this was the prayer that I've said months ago and this is it. I had the fear that I wouldn't be what they would want me to be, but this I know that through God, everything and anything is possible. &I believe that if He had chosen me, I shall not fail Him but to do the best that I can, by faith through perseverance.

God, this is for you.

Invisible,

I hate this feeling, I hope that I have never met anyone of you.
Kaythanksbye.

:)

Lifted up,

Before you, I grew up as a tender shoot. I lived in scarce condition and the sun they burned me, the soil they drowned me. Before you, I grew up, broken and disappointed. Love, burned me, and my failings drowned me. At the age of five, you asked if you could my hand, and as innocent as I was, I said yes. The world seemed as though like the pictures I used to draw, with crayons and colours, life was happy and great. You hands, they never fail me, they gripped me as I fall and held me as I cry. At the age of seventeen, I let go of that hand, thinking that I could live without it. Thinking that I was able, and strong enough to live in a broken world. My world, they continued to drown and fail me. What seemed like I loved the most, turned back against me, and denied me before my soul. But the more I try to loose you, the tighter you held against my heart, the more I tried to hurt myself, to die, but your gripped, they tightened before my soul. At the age of eighteen, the hands that once held mine 13 years ago, the hands that I once denied a year ago, are now the hands that holds my world together.
&Lord, you see me as I am. You have seen me cry, laugh and curse. You have seen the side of me that I have hidden from my friends. You have seen the world around me falling when all I could do was to dream a perfect and better one. When I was in denial, you woke me up from my dream and told me to take heart and be strong. When my life comes crashing down, you whispered to me, "I will be there, I will never leave you nor forsake you". When I couldn't feel you near or here, you said this in a still small voice, "I am here, and has always been".
and in my life, I've been to the place where home is no longer one, family is no longer there. &I've lost the life, only to know that I've gained you.
Laura Story, "&when God takes everything away, all you have is you and your faith. You grip on that one thing that you have, and God was all that you have."

Lord, I am forever and ever grateful

This Love,

Hello there, (:*
I'm in the midst of an examination, just 4 days away from my last paper! *yaaaaaaaay. Life has been great with loads of fun activities and events coming in their way, oooh I can't waaait! Last Sunday, I attended Steph's church, Community Baptist Church and it was pretty good! Coming from a big church that looks like a shopping mall, I was pretty amazed at how a church, the size of a town house could hold up to so much of love. The presence of God was surely there, and well the environment was really warm. The senior pastor was approachable and every where you turn, you know their names, it's like one big family of God. The worship session was great, especially when I'm used to having a concert like worship session, but this was just small yet so amazing. The Senior Pastor, preached about contentment and it felt like as though God spoke right through my heart. Though he stutters at almost every word he says, but He never fails to preach the sermon in the right manner, at least with all his heart and soul. Sermon ended at roughly 12 ish and well with the Benediction and a prayer that was said so simply yet so powerfully. He spoke something about following God's plan, and it was by far the safest thing on earth. The moment he said it, I couldn't hold back the tears, and I had the urge to just cry and pour out, but having to be new and overwhelmed by the new environment, I held back.
A year back, I started attending DUMC, and it was a pretty big church, and sermons were always held in the auditorium that was able to contain atleast 2,000 people. I didn't know many people there other than my cell group members and beyond that social circle, I seriously have no body to go to. I remembered having to attend church every other Saturday and often times I'll always reach church an hour earlier; I remembered how awkward it was to be a youth in that church, surrounded by so many people yet, I knew none. I remembered that I had to hide in the toilet, and sat there for about half an hour to avoid the awkwardness. The church was big, as how I described it, it was huge, over a thousand of people would attend the weekend services and yet they'll only know a handful of people. My Senior Pastor has never spoken to me, and has never known my name. To tell you the truth, the church was glorifying God in every way, being sued by the Jakim, having to be a model church to other churches, to have grown in population over the year, yet no one could see the cracks on these four walls. My church, lacks of unity, and that warmness when you enter a church. I seriously do not find refuge in it, I don't find it comfortable being in church and so to say I'd rather be anywhere else than there.

Being in Community Baptist church has surely opened my eyes, to see how a small church could contain such an amazing and great love. & in shame I proclaim that, that small church was far more greater than that big big church, because first there was God, then Unity and finally love.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,

I have suffered enough, I don't believe that I deserve these kind of cold treatments from you people. I have definitely cried enough, do you know how much it hurts to cry? Definitely not, because you have not been treated like the way I have been. I don't believe that this is what you do to your sister in Christ, after all you guys are my cell group members, and I find it contradicting that you mock and insult hypocrites but you do not look upon your own hearts to see how selfish and foolish you people are? You preach the words among your friends but you hardly live by the word. Who am I to judge you? Only God knows what are in the hearts of men.
Everyday, as I leave for church, it feels like as though a weight or burden has been placed on my shoulder. It feels like as though I have been dragging my dead body to church each day, and I hate it. I definitely love going to church, I love being there and being there makes me feel like as though I am home, a place where God dwells, a place where I can go and seek refuge. But no, you guys ditch me, neglected me in times when I needed you so. You guys left me to deal with my own mess, and where are the promises you guys once made? No call, not even a message to ask how was I, no one was bothered to ask why didn't I go to church? People will probably make up their own excuses for my absence, like "Oh, she has exams." Yes, I do, I have exams, but I need God, I need His blessing in this, and I so wanted to go to church but no one informed me about any meetings or so, and I was left unwanted and broken.
Sometimes I wish that someone, or anyone of you whom I've referring to will read this, will see that my ignorance was the result of my brokenness, that my absence was to run away from the tears that will come every single time after church. I want you to see how bitter am I, how broken am I and it saddens me because I used to hold you so dear and close to my heart, but now, everything's gone.

Lord,
I thank you for the memories made, I thank the moments when I felt accepted and loved. Lord, wont you just heal me O God.

Hippies got em flowers,

I guess it's all about mixing with the right kind of people to make you feel worthy and acceptable in a very good way. College might have just started days ago for some of us, but as for myself and the rest of the college mate, it'll be after the upcoming examination. Just six days away from Edexcel, I am almost ready, but not really ready to Ace it just yet. Life has been great, with loads of exciting events coming in the way and truck loads of new people to meet! I recently met one of my ex-schoolmates and am really excited to meet more of them! It's amazing of how times like these reminded me of how great high school was(:*
God has been so merciful, seriously. It was just last year that I prayed to God for a friend, preferably a girl that I can talk to and has the exact same point of view as I am (religion), well after months of trying to fit in and shizz, I've finally met not one but four instead! What a blessing:D They are just a bunch of amazing people that you meet at some points of your life, having to be one another's accountability partners, well God has so answered my prayers! Well, it's the 5th day of 2012 and we'll see what the Lord has in store for those who waits on His perfect timing.