Trust in God's Loving Care

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.” (Philippians 4:6-7 LB)

There is no such thing as a problem-free life. You just have to learn to have peace in the middle of your problems, or you’re never going to have peace — period. As soon as one pops up and you deal with it, another one is going to take its place.

So, why is your life just one problem after another?

There are three reasons:

First, Adam choked. He blew it. He and Eve gave into temptation and allowed sin to come into the world, and we’re all paying the consequences. We live in a fallen world.

Second, you have an enemy, and his name is Satan. He wants to mess with your mind, your family, your health, your finances — particularly if you are a follower of Christ and you’re trying to do the right thing.

On top of all that, you make your own mistakes. Most of the problems and pain in your life comes from your own poor decisions. When we make dumb decisions, we pay the penalties.

But sometimes the pain in your life is no one’s fault. Sometimes there’s a problem in your life so that the work of God may be displayed in your life. Regardless of why you have the problem that’s unsolvable, unchangeable, unexplainable, or uncontrollable, whether it came from the world, the devil, or yourself, you still need the same response every time — trust in the loving care of God.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand” (NLT). That’s the path to peace. Trust God’s loving care in the situation.

Talk It Over

• What evidence is there in your life of God using your struggles to point others to him?
• How do other people respond when they witness your peace in the midst of difficult circumstances?

In All Things, Be Joyful

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6 NLT)

You have a fundamental need for joy in your life. Life without joy is overwhelming, overburdened, and oppressive. Studies have actually shown that the more joy we have in our lives, the more productive we are. I read an article in "US News and World Report" that said that corporations hire "joy consultants" to build up the joy in peoples’ lives so that employees can be more productive. It is true that you have more energy, more creativity, and more productivity when you have joy in your life.

In the short book of Philippians — only four chapters long — Paul uses the word “joy” 16 times. The amazing thing is, Paul didn’t write this book when he was on vacation in the Caribbean. He was in prison in Rome, waiting to be executed. In the darkest days of his life, he wrote the most positive book in the Bible.

In Philippians, Paul gives us six joy-builders that will help diffuse our discouragement and lift our depression. To make them easy to remember, I’ve made them into an acrostic — JOYFUL. Today, we’ll look at the first three.

J: Jettison all regrets about your past.

“Jettison” means “to abandon as worthless, to discard, to eliminate, to get rid of.” Paul says if you want to enjoy life, there are some things you’ve got to get rid of because they are wearing you down and overburdening your life. The Bible says to forget your regrets, because that's what God does — he chooses to forgive your mistakes once they're confessed. The starting point of joy is letting go of the past. Philippians 3:13 says, “One thing I do is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead” (GN).

O: Omit all worries about your future.

If you’re going to enjoy the present, you must omit all worries about your future. Worry, hands-down, is the greatest killjoy of them all. You cannot be joyful and worried at the same time. Paul’s antidotes are these verses: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” (Philippians 4:6 NLT). You can either worry or you can pray.

Y: Yield yourself to God's purpose.

If you’re just drifting, if you don’t know where you came from or where you’re going or why you’re here, of course you’re not going to have any joy in your life. We all need a cause greater than ourselves for which we live. That is what brings us joy. Living for yourself does not bring joy.

Even when Paul had literally lost everything, there was one thing that could not be taken away from him — his purpose in life. Paul says in Philippians 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (NIV).

If you want to have a joy-filled life, you need to get in line with God’s purpose for your life. When you begin to live the purpose for which you are made, life makes sense, and joy is a lot more easily found.

Talk It Over

• What are the things — people, circumstances, situations, or feelings — that are wearing you down and keeping you from living a joyful life?
• What is the difference in happiness and joy?
• What are you worried about? What do you need to do to release your worry?

Ask, Then Expect God to Help

"Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame." Isaiah 50:7 (NLT)

When you pray, expect to hear from God. I can’t say it any simpler than that.

Expect that God will answer your prayer. This is where faith comes in. You wait expectantly on God.

Waiting on God is never a waste of time. In fact, it is time well invested in your life. It keeps you focused on God and living in light of eternity.

Hurry is the death of prayer. One reason you may not hear God speak to you is that you don't wait long enough. He wants you to care enough to listen.

The Bible says there are three things to do as you wait –

• Wait quietly -- “I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.” (Psalm 62:5 NLT)
• Wait patiently -- “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” (Psalm 37:7 NLT)
• Wait expectantly -- “I wait expectantly, trusting God to help, for he has promised.” (Psalm 105:5 LB)

Talk about it -

• What do you think about this statement: When you pray, expect to hear from God.

• Think about the things that may keep you too busy to wait on God. What makes them so important? What changes do you think you should make?

Does God Answer Specific Prayers?

“All eyes look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:15-16 HCSB)

The distinction between coincidence and God’s activity in your life is important because it will affect your ability to thank God for the many things he provides. If you think in terms of coincidence as opposed to God’s activity in your life, you will miss the truth that God is providing for your every need.

Let me give you an example of one way God deepened my faith in this area. Because I have bipolar II disorder and also live alone, my doctor encouraged me to get a dog. Feeding and walking a dog helps build structure and routine into the day. But I was at a place in my life where I wasn’t sure I could afford a dog, especially the shots and veterinarian visits that would be required.

But I went ahead and asked God to provide me with a dog. I love dogs and have had several, so I was specific in my prayer. “Father, I am grateful for what you can provide but this is what I’d like:

• One that is hypoallergenic, because I am allergic to dogs that shed. I’d really like a cockapoo — a cross between a cocker spaniel and poodle.
• One that is older and already trained.
• One that is female, because my last dog was a very territorial male.
• One that is around 30 pounds.
• One that I can afford to keep.”

I found a rescue dog that seemed to fit my criteria at a place just around the corner from my house. But, when I walked the dog around for a while, there just didn’t seem to be a connection. When I brought the dog back in to the rescue center, the woman at the front desk asked, “What are you looking for?”

I said, “I really was hoping to find a cockapoo.”

She said there was someone who had recently called about a cockapoo. She gave me a card and said, “Give this woman a call and see if she has the right dog for you.”

I called Laura West, who owned Pumpkin, a 4-year-old female cockapoo who weighed around 30 pounds and was current on all her shots. When I asked her how much she wanted for Pumpkin, she said, “I just want her to have a good home!”

I told Laura how I’d prayed specifically for this dog. Was it a coincidence that I just happened to walk into the rescue looking for a dog at the same time Laura, who is also a believer, had called the rescue about Pumpkin?

I think Pumpkin is my God dog, and so I can say with confidence that God is working to meet your needs as well. Thank God, from whom all blessings flow!

Talk About It

• What is a way God has provided for you this past year?

• What are the things for which you have to be thankful?

(Written by Jon Walker)

Nice Girls Don't Ask

Written by Esther Feng at Gifted for Leadership

Feeling underappreciated and overlooked, I decided to talk with my team leader. I'm embarrassed to tell you I allowed my frustration to fester for several weeks before I said a word. I didn't want to be "that" girl¬—whiny, needy, and demanding.

 As I nervously asked for what I needed and even wanted, I was surprised to hear “yes” to many of my requests. Why hadn’t I asked sooner?

I'm not alone. In surveys, 2.5 times more women than men said they feel “a great deal of apprehension” about asking for what they want, whether it be help with household chores or childcare, a higher salary, or even a better price on a car.

As I've reflected on my own discomfort in asking, I’ve discovered three thought patterns that prevent me from asking friends, my husband, my boss, and yes, even God, for what I need and want.

I’m not worth it. Several years ago, I began to take writing seriously. I researched writing conferences and found one that seemed like a good fit. However, I couldn’t bring myself to click “register.” As a stay-at-home mom, the cost and inconvenience to my family didn’t seem justified. One evening my husband caught me looking longingly at the conference webpage and asked me about it. He assured me the kids would survive for four days without me—and I was worth the expense. “Why didn’t you just ask?” he muttered as he handed me the credit card. The lie that we’re not worthy of help, advancement, rest, or even little “extras” can be incredibly believable. In today’s world, we walk the fine line between overindulgence and selling ourselves short. When I fall into the trap of devaluing myself, I give it the ultra-spiritual name of “humility.” Scripture reminds us God wants us to ask for the blessings he has for us. (Luke 18:1). The truth is, we aren’t worthy of his blessings. But he loves us and gave up his Son for us, bestowing immeasurable value into the very fiber of our beings. Real humility points us to Jesus, not our insecurities. We can boldly, yet humbly, ask for everything God has in store for us. Rejoice in his yeses, be grateful for his no’s, and patiently accept his wait-a-whiles. But ask—because he thinks you’re worth it. 

I’m too scared to ask. The salesman sat smiling at my dining room table, calculator out and ready to sell me a water system our family apparently needed. He listed his price. I didn’t like it. The thought of asking for a better price scared me to death. My fear defied logic. He wanted to sell me the system. He expected me to negotiate. I’d never have to see him again. Yet I was scared to ask. Often, fear prevents us from asking for what we want. Perhaps it’s the fear of using up our brownie points with God, so we don’t ask for “little” things. Sometimes we’re scared someone will think we’re not “ladylike.” Or we spiritualize fear with thoughts like “I don’t really need a raise—God meets all my needs.” The boldness to ask is sometimes the means God uses to bless us. A stranger in a new country, Ruth experienced the blessing and provision of God as she faithfully showed up to glean from Boaz’s field. She could have stopped there. There was much to be thankful for—safe travels, daily bread, and a loving mother-in-law. It was Ruth’s courage to ask Boaz to marry her that opened the door for God’s plan. Because Ruth boldly asked, she received more than she ever could have imagined—redemption of a family line, a son, social standing. And unbeknownst to her, she had the privilege of a place in the lineage of our Savior. We ought to ask biblically and in step with the Holy Spirit if we want to receive what we ask for (1 John 5:14-15; James 4:3). But do fearlessly approach the throne of God, and even other people in authority over you, and see how God might choose to bless you. 

I’m too strong to ask. I had sick kids, dinner burning, strangers ringing the doorbell, and my mother calling. All while on a conference call. In an exceptionally busy season, I needed help! But I never asked for it... “I don’t want to stress out my husband with extra responsibilities.” “I can’t ask a friend for help—I’ll owe her a favor afterward.” “I can do it—I can do all things through Christ, right?” Too often I think I’m too strong, too capable, too spiritual to ask for help. Yet time after time, God uses people to care for me. At the counsel of his father-in-law, Moses asked hundreds of men to help him, at varying levels of responsibility (Exodus 18). A man who was capable, wise, and called God’s friend needed to humble himself and ask for help. Asking for help not only blesses us; it also opens the door for others to experience the joy of obedience. It’s ironic that the “strength” that keeps us from asking for help is exactly the pride that prevents us from experiencing the real power found in Jesus. I admit, asking for help is a lesson I’ve needed to relearn many times. In a culture that celebrates busyness, strength, and ability, I have to consciously remind myself to ask for help. 

Learning to ask for help, for courage, and for more (even of life’s little extras) gives me a fresh understanding of God’s generosity. To be sure, I don’t always get what I want, but as I’ve learned to align my desires with what God wants for me, I see how he simply loves when I boldly, abashedly ask for the desires of my heart.

 Esther Feng and her husband live with their two elementary-age daughters in Central New York. Esther currently serves as development communications coordinator at MOPS International and is a freelance writer, blogging at EstherFeng.com. 

Beyond "Prayer Requests" - What if people's wishes run counter to God's sometimes painful path of transformation?

You'd have thought I'd just cussed by the way the mouths around the table soundlessly fell open. And all I'd said was "I don't think I can pray that for you."

The woman who had just asked us to pray was perhaps the most shocked of all.

My home group had just finished eating dinner, and we were sharing prayer requests. With obvious distress, Kris had told of her daughter's plan to move in with a boyfriend that weekend, and asked us to pray that God wouldn't allow it.

I usually try not to take exception to people's prayer requests, but I have a low tolerance for requests I think God clearly will not answer. On this occasion, I didn't keep quiet.

Once they all caught their breath, I explained. "I think all of us here can understand why you want God to stop her from doing that. If anyone here feels that's what God wants, you're free to pray that way. I'm wondering, however, whether asking God to override someone's ability to make moral choices isn't akin to witchcraft."

I could see Kris was near seething at my bluntness, so I hurried on. "What I suggest we pray for is that God would reveal himself to your daughter. That he would let her see clearly the choice she is making. And that God will show you how to trust him and love your daughter, even if she makes the stupidest mistake of her young life."

I had hardly finished before Kris blurted out through tears, "That's exactly what I need."

We gathered around her to pray. Instead of praying for the situation not to take a distressing turn, we prayed for Kris. What could have been a sympathetic but shallow exercise in prayer became a marvelous discovery of how God works in difficult situations.

 

Prayer snares

 

At most prayer meetings a host of requests are made, then a handful of people offer quick prayers until the list is covered. Rarely do we stop to ask if a particular prayer request is in line with what God is doing. Rarely do we follow up to find out if God answered.

We are often left praying a list of wishes, as though if we throw enough darts at the balloons on the wall, we're bound to hit one of them.

My young son awakened me to the folly of this. We were reading John 15 one morning for a family devotion when he suddenly blurted out, "That's not true!" I had just read the verse about God giving us whatever we ask of him. But my five-year-old was already aware that most of what we prayed for as a family didn't happen. I wondered if our prayer practices were teaching him, whether we liked it or not, that prayer is only wishful thinking.

While the exercise of prayer itself offers comfort for the moment, I'm afraid many prayer requests teach us to use God like a genie in a bottle. I don't want my son, or my brothers and sisters, to get that impression. I'm no longer comfortable praying for things that I'm not convinced are in sync with God's heart.

Here are certain types of prayer requests that reflect more our human desires than the desires of God. Do these sound familiar?

The trivial: "Let's pray I can get over this cold" or "Give us a rain-free day for the church picnic." Our comfort and our plans seem important to us, but might God have something larger in mind? Might the farmers around us desperately need the rain? Our requests need to reflect things we truly expect God to do, not just our thoughtless hopes and whims. I don't want my requests to trivialize the awesome gift of prayer.

The self-motivated: "My brother's unit just got called up to go to Bosnia. Let's pray he won't have to go." While I can understand the emotion behind the request, it is still misplaced. If he's in the military, why shouldn't he go? God's purposes frequently include hardship and risk. Should we ask him to trump his purposes for our convenience?

The controlling: As with Kris' request, I think we're spitting into the wind if we ask God to make other people act according to our will.He doesn't even force people to adhere to his will. Why should he make them act according to ours?

The manipulative: Not all prayer requests are directed at God. We're usually more diplomatic about it than Charissa, who was only four years old, but knew what she wanted. "Jesus, would you help Bob and Laurie learn how to spank their children, so their kids won't hit me when I come over?" I'll admit it worked for Charissa, but I don't think prayer was intended to send subtle (or not so subtle) messages to the faithful.

The blaming: A group in my former church was praying for an infertile woman. They thought she wasn't getting pregnant because her husband wasn't godly enough be a good father. So they asked God to change him. She blamed him and tried to manipulate him to change, and by the time she came to see me, she was incredibly frustrated. I told her I thought they'd missed the point. None of us qualify for God's gifts. If God waited until everyone was ready to have a baby, no one would ever give birth.

The mass-produced: I don't know why we think we have a better chance of getting prayers answered if more people are in on it. Like many of you, I receive prayer requests on the Internet begging me to pray for people I don't know, about needs I'm not involved in. God's answers to prayer are not based on a tally sheet. Prayer was designed for two or three faithful believers to focus on, agree, and fervently intercede, rather than enlisting large numbers of uninvolved people.

 

Prayer pointers

 

Prayer enables us to discover what God is doing, to trace his hand in the circumstances of our lives. Through the vital communication of prayer, he transforms us in the process. Prayer, therefore, is not so much a means of manipulating the master plan, but of being shaped by the master's hand.

Not all prayer groups are conducive to that kind of prayer. Not all requests follow that understanding. Consider five guidelines to direct your prayer times to foster a transformational, ongoing walk with God.

1. Focus prayer on the people involved. The temptation at "prayer-request time" is to narrow the request to action points we want God to undertake or gifts we want him to give. That misses what God considers most important.

When the news arises of a brother sent to war, the opportunity for prayer is not to ask God to keep him home. That limits the scope of prayer to events, when it should be focused on people. It also limits the other pray-ers to a specific request, without offering an opportunity to discern God's heart in the matter.

Instead, address the fears of his sister, the worry of his mother, and the faith of the soldier himself. We can pray that God will mold our courage and our ability to trust, that he will help us overcome fears, and that the brother will recognize God's presence. These are the evidences of God's work and the kinds of prayers he answers.

I've discovered that smaller groups give us time to process someone's struggle and help identify God's work. Even home-sized groups can be too big for this kind of prayer. I have always found it more effective to break down in groups of two or three where people really know each other and give them the time to explore the situation together.

2. Seek God's perspective. Most prayer requests fit what we think is best, and often run counter to what God is actually doing.

I love how Peter and John responded to the Pharisee's threats that they stop proclaiming Jesus or face punishment. When they gathered later with other believers to pray, they didn't pray for what would be easiest. They could have prayed God would convert the Pharisees or wipe them from the face of the earth. But they didn't see either of those options as fitting God's design. Instead, they prayed for boldness to continue to do what God asked, even when they knew they might be beaten, imprisoned, or executed for it.

A primary step in prayer should include asking God to reveal what he is doing in the situation and pausing long enough to let him answer. One of the things I most appreciate about Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God is that it invites us to trust God to show us what he is doing in our lives. Prayer should be directed by talking together to see if anyone has a specific insight about how to pray for the people involved.

3. Let trust, and not fear, fuel your prayers. Fear is the death of prayer because it is the opposite of trust. Most of my prayers, even well into midlife, were driven by my anxieties and fears.

I remember praying through our finances, and though we had enough to supply our needs for the present, I was concerned about the long term. I trusted him enough for today, but kept praying that he would do something to take my anxiety away for tomorrow. But God didn't want me to trust in my IRA or the state lottery for security, he wanted me to trust in him.

What most enhances my relationship with Jesus is my ability to trust him, no matter what circumstance I'm in. He rarely answers prayers that ask him to fix my circumstances so that I can trust him less. His desire has always been that I would trust him more.

Prayers permeated with a faith-filled security in God's love and confidence in his character will be more effective than petitions for him to appease me.

When I'm fearful, I've learned to pray first for my fear and for a fuller revelation of God's love before I pray for the specific outcome I might want. When I'm praying for others, I do the same.

4. Pray in agreement. I learned this fascinating aspect of prayer from a group of Christians in the Australian Bush.

The man leading the prayer meeting offered some unusual instructions:

"Tonight as we pray, we're only going to pray for what we agree upon. If one of you feels led to pray over something, ask the group if that's something we all sense. If it is, we can pray in agreement. If not, we'll pass over it for now and move on to other requests." I asked him later why he gave the unusual instructions. He said they had learned that praying for someone can become a subtle form of manipulation.

"If a man is depressed, then others pray for him to be happy. He's pressured then to smile at the end of the prayer and say, 'Thanks. I feel better,' whether he does or not. Maybe he doesn't need to 'feel better' right now. Maybe he needs to learn to cling to God in the midst of suffering. You don't know unless you ask."

If the person being prayed for didn't agree or understand the insight, the prayer group would set it aside and see what others might have on their hearts.

Often, they told me, two or three weeks after someone had declined to be prayed for in a certain way, he or she would return convinced that was just the prayer that was needed.

By asking permission of one another to pray in certain ways, these Australians were able to maintain a more authentic and honest form of prayer. They also had a chance to share insights and see what God might be saying. It gave them the freedom to pray with boldness when they knew that all were seeking the same thing.

5. Follow up. Nothing expresses our concern to someone in need more than following up with a phone call a few days later to see how they are doing and what might have happened after our prayer.

I'm convinced we do too little of this because we have so little hope that our prayers will affect much. But if the goal is to zero in on what God is doing and see him accomplish his will in our circumstances, then our initial prayer only begins the process.

If nothing has happened since, we can ask God for wisdom. Is he doing something else in this situation than we thought? Is he teaching us to persevere in what we started?

Staying in the process until something is resolved will not only be a blessing in that instance, but will train us for future opportunities in prayer.

Philippians 4:6 invites us to make any request of God, but it does not tell us to expect him to answer them the way we want. God is not our fairy godmother who waves a magic wand to conform every circumstance to our whim. Real prayer is the process of getting involved with someone's need, praying as best we understand God's work, and then staying in the situation until we see God act.

It is a risk to pray in that expectant way, but it can lead to some incredible prayers. One of Henri Nouwen's spiritual directors once prayed over him:

May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted. May all of your desires be withered into nothingness that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son, and the Spirit.

While I don't recommend praying that for someone you don't know well, here is someone who understood God's heart in prayer. Teaching people to move beyond their own agenda to touch the heart and passion of God will be a challenge, but it will deepen and enliven your prayer life.

Wayne Jacobsen, a pastor for 20 years, is now director of Lifestream Ministries in Oxnard, California.www.lifestream.org

(http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies/articles/spiritualformation/040701.html)