Accept What Cannot Be Changed

“I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT)

Worrying about what cannot be changed won’t give you peace. Becoming resentful or bitter about what cannot be changed will not give you peace. Feeling guilty about things that cannot be changed will not give you peace.

There is only one thing that will bring peace in your life, and that is acceptance of what cannot be changed.

When Paul wrote the book of Philippians, he was in prison in Rome, awaiting execution. In Philippians 4:11-13, he wrote these words: “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (NLT).

Paul probably wanted to change his circumstances, and he could have lashed out at God and questioned what was happening to him. Instead, he trusted God for the things that he could not change and chose to give God the glory.

I can tell you one thing that keeps us tense and nervous and stressed out about the things in our lives: our demand for an explanation. When something goes wrong in life, we say, “Why is this happening, God? Why did you allow this?”

Here are three things you need to understand: First, God doesn’t owe you an explanation for anything. God is a good, just, and fair God, and he understands things that you don’t. You need to just say “OK.”

Second, even if he did explain why things happen the way they do, you probably wouldn’t understand it. You cannot comprehend the ways of God.

Third, explanations never bring peace, anyway. Explanations never satisfy.

What comforts us is the presence of God in our life — not God’s explanations but his care and concern and comfort. Stop looking for something that you really don’t need, and stop trying to change things that are out of your control. Then, you will have peace.

Talk It Over

• What are the circumstances in your life that you have tried to change but instead need to give to God?
• Instead of “why,” what requests do you need to make of God to help bring you peace?

God's Acceptance Is All You Need

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; I will fear no one. The LORD protects me from all danger; I will never be afraid." (Psalm 27:1 TEV)

The fear of rejection is based on two things. First, we all need to be loved. That's a fact. We all desperately need massive doses of love in our life to be healthy individuals. God says, "I want to love you." God is love, and he knows you need to be loved.

But, second, we develop the false idea that our need to be loved is solely dependent upon one person or a group of people. When you expect someone else to meet 100 percent of your need for love, you're asking for trouble. You're setting yourself up for hurt and opening the door for the fear of rejection. When you look to any other person besides God to meet all your love needs, he or she can't. There is no human being alive that can love you as completely and as fully as you need to be loved, and there never will be. Only God can do that.

So, the first step in overcoming the fear of rejection is to put God in first place, because he's the only one who can ultimately meet all your needs.

Does God ever love us through other people? Of course. Does God want us to love others? Yes. Does he want to use us as channels of love? Absolutely.

But, you will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. God never meant it to be that way. They just don't have enough love. Human love is limited. God's love is unlimited and unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it.

The first step in overcoming the fear of rejection is realizing the Lord, not anyone else, is your light and salvation: “The LORD is my light and my salvation; I will fear no one. The LORD protects me from all danger; I will never be afraid” (Psalm 27:1 TEV). This means I look to the Lord to brighten my day, so I am not dependent on others to make or break my day. I look to the Lord to save my life, so I am not dependent on others to accept or reject me.

And this means I need no longer be afraid.

The key to assertiveness is not to psych yourself up, not to be aggressive and live in a selfish way, but to understand how deeply God loves you. When that really sinks in, you’ll be able to say, “God loves me, and if you don't like me, that's your problem!”

The secret of simplifying life is saying, "I'm going to do what pleases God. If I do that, it sure simplifies life. And, if I please God, it's always the right thing to do. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks." 

Talk About It

- Whom have you been trying to please? What has been the result?

- What practical changes can you make to ensure you are doing what pleases God?

You Are Defined by God and God Alone

"He has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts . . ."  2 Corinthians 1:22 (NLT)

You are not defined by your feelings. You are not defined by the opinions of others. You are not defined by your circumstances. You are not defined by your successes or failures. You are not defined by the car you drive, or the money you make, or the house you say you own (even though the bank really owns it).

You are defined by God and God alone. He identifies you as his own (2 Corinthians 1:22).

The thing is, if you don’t know who you are, then you are vulnerable to other people telling you who you are. But the concrete, solid, gospel truth is that you are who God says you are and no one else has a vote in the matter.

Jesus was able to face the incredible demands of his mission because he knew exactly who he was. He knew that he mattered to God, and that gave him confidence to move purposefully in faith.

You are God’s precious child and he created you in a way that pleases him. Because you are identified with Christ, you have the power of the Holy Spirit within you.

Talk about it –

Because God defines you, you can stop accepting how others have defined you. You can stop accepting how others have labeled you.

• Ask God to help you believe and accept what he says about you.

• How would your life change if you fully accepted that God is pleased with how he created you?

(Written by Jon Walker)